still disenchanted

Unfortunately, i still remain disenchanted. Japan is not the wonderland i thought it would be. Tokushima has some beautiful features, like temples, mountains, forests, rivers, yet there is urban sprawl as far as the eye can see outside my balcony, most of the water is horrendously polluted, garbage litters the streets, older people are constantly rude and scowling. The younger ones are not rude, and i have actually befriended some Tokushima kids, but most of them like to pretend gaijin don't exist. Yes, i do know what it is like to be an outcast in society. Perhaps if i relocate and see a different part of the country, things will be different enough to change my mind. Or perhaps it will be very much the same wherever i go here. It is a bit depressing to think that all the fantasies we have in the u.s. of purer or more beautiful lands are simply farses. There must be a place like this somewhere, overlooked by "progress" and industrialization. Japan, obviously, is not a good place to look for virginity and innocence.