Jamie learned: "Bicycle"!
I have had many a dream of this day. When i would advance to the next stage of self-propelled locomotion. No longer would I be confined to the two feet I have relied on for all my years. I would be able to turn two wheels with nothing but the muscles of my legs, and this action would help me move through space like a dolphin cuts through water.
Well, i am not exactly that graceful yet, but i am working on it. I took my roommate's bike out into the stormy weather and walked it to the parking lot in the alley behind my house, with determination written upon my brow. I gazed up at the angry heavens and solemnly promised myself that a new page in the book of my life would be inscribed tonight. I mounted the vehicle and thrust myself forward, bracing my weight clumsily and coaxing my feet skyward. I let the soles of my sneakers taste sweet pedal as i pushed down vigorously, allowing velocity to have its way with me, and further throwing my center of gravity into disarray. There was much squeaking of rubber, both sneaker sole and tire, there were tears and there was blood, there were groans of anguish and cries of joy, and there was the moment when i found myself released from the stubborn grip of the earth and given the gift of flight. Soon i was speeding past the prostitutes and wheeling precariously near moving cars, not ceasing after nearly plummeting into a rice field, not turning back after my clothes had gained a tremendous weight from rain water. Truth be told, half my time was spent remounting after my balance failed me, and i even fell completely to the ground at one point--my face inches from the wet cement, i pushed myself up on tireless arms and leaped back on the dripping seat--but the accomplishment will not be ignored. And let us forget the humiliation of the idea of a 22-year-old man learning to ride a bike. Let us instead concentrate on his steadfast and unflinching perseverance in the face of oppression, and his noble, if not godly, humility about his triumph.
Well, i am not exactly that graceful yet, but i am working on it. I took my roommate's bike out into the stormy weather and walked it to the parking lot in the alley behind my house, with determination written upon my brow. I gazed up at the angry heavens and solemnly promised myself that a new page in the book of my life would be inscribed tonight. I mounted the vehicle and thrust myself forward, bracing my weight clumsily and coaxing my feet skyward. I let the soles of my sneakers taste sweet pedal as i pushed down vigorously, allowing velocity to have its way with me, and further throwing my center of gravity into disarray. There was much squeaking of rubber, both sneaker sole and tire, there were tears and there was blood, there were groans of anguish and cries of joy, and there was the moment when i found myself released from the stubborn grip of the earth and given the gift of flight. Soon i was speeding past the prostitutes and wheeling precariously near moving cars, not ceasing after nearly plummeting into a rice field, not turning back after my clothes had gained a tremendous weight from rain water. Truth be told, half my time was spent remounting after my balance failed me, and i even fell completely to the ground at one point--my face inches from the wet cement, i pushed myself up on tireless arms and leaped back on the dripping seat--but the accomplishment will not be ignored. And let us forget the humiliation of the idea of a 22-year-old man learning to ride a bike. Let us instead concentrate on his steadfast and unflinching perseverance in the face of oppression, and his noble, if not godly, humility about his triumph.
posted by mdove at 11:25 PM
5 Comments:
It is your first step to greatness, grasshopper. For the next technique is Bicycle 2, which allows you to maneuver through pedestrians and traffic alike. The pinnacle of the Bicycle Dojo is Bicycle 3 that allows you to pull off little stunts like hopping the curb.
This would indeed be humiliating if you were a 22 year old man. But you are a 22 year old boy-child with bones like dry spaghetti from your communist vegan diet. You are not held to the same standards of physical ability due to your self-imposed dietary handicap. Nonetheless, congratulations. I wish I could have been there to cheer you on. And laugh at you.
Yay Jamie!!!!! I'm so proud!!! Love the poetic language. You should have your students teach you to bike in exchange for your English lessons.
-your singing cousin
Congratulations! Of course, this would never have been possible without the practice session in my driveway a couple of years ago. I can't wait to get you on the Katy Trail. --Interrupting Cow
Congratulations! Of course, this would never have been possible without the practice session in my driveway a couple of years ago. I can't wait to get you on the Katy Trail. --Interrupting Cow
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