setsubun
Before i attempt to explain Sestubun, i must attend to a matter of utmost urgency. Michael, my second roommate named Michael who is in fact evil, unlike the charmingly wicked yet inwardly good first Michael, has bought a box of cookies. This is not important in itself, but what the box itself reads is: "Country Ma'am - Chocochip Cookies Gianduja". At first i was baffled by this name for cookies, cookies that look harmlessly similar to the ones i am used to. I then realized that this "Gianduja" probably meant "Grandma", so to emphasize the home-made goodness of said cookies. This is the most horrendous spelling error i have ever seen in any product, if this mistake is in fact truly a mistake, and not some bizarre foreign language or reference to the deliciousness of the cookies in some secret code. Onward.
Setsubun is the day that lies on the separation between winter and spring on the old Japanese (and probably Chinese) calender, upon which spring starts the year. On this holiday, one must eat a long sushi roll, uncut, held out like a trumpet of nori seaweed and rice, and consume it without stopping for air in the direction of most luck, which this year is south-west. I couldn't make this up if i tried. And it's not over. For in the evening-time, the family gathers round and the father puts on his "oni" (ogre) mask. Once he has this mask on, he marches to the corner and awaits his peril: a relentless barrage of raw soybeans. Yes friends, the rest of the family viciously pelts the poor father with beans while screaming "Oni wa soto, fuku wa uchi!" (bad luck out, good luck in!). This might be akin to Yom Kippur, except much more savage and with many more beans. After this beastly celebration, the family once again gathers and eats their age in steamed beans. The poor youngins will probably go to bed hungry, unable to sleep because their grumbling stomachs will keep them up, while the poor grandmas with their tender and tiny stomachs will most likely be up all night too, although with their heads hanging over the toilet and properly practicing "oni wa soto".
I ate a long sushi roll in observance of Setsubun, although i did not have my compass on me, and therefore could not procure the good luck that was promised me. I could have guessed which direction to devour my sushi roll, but i thought better of it considering that a different direction might contain bad luck, or even DEATH.
Setsubun is the day that lies on the separation between winter and spring on the old Japanese (and probably Chinese) calender, upon which spring starts the year. On this holiday, one must eat a long sushi roll, uncut, held out like a trumpet of nori seaweed and rice, and consume it without stopping for air in the direction of most luck, which this year is south-west. I couldn't make this up if i tried. And it's not over. For in the evening-time, the family gathers round and the father puts on his "oni" (ogre) mask. Once he has this mask on, he marches to the corner and awaits his peril: a relentless barrage of raw soybeans. Yes friends, the rest of the family viciously pelts the poor father with beans while screaming "Oni wa soto, fuku wa uchi!" (bad luck out, good luck in!). This might be akin to Yom Kippur, except much more savage and with many more beans. After this beastly celebration, the family once again gathers and eats their age in steamed beans. The poor youngins will probably go to bed hungry, unable to sleep because their grumbling stomachs will keep them up, while the poor grandmas with their tender and tiny stomachs will most likely be up all night too, although with their heads hanging over the toilet and properly practicing "oni wa soto".
I ate a long sushi roll in observance of Setsubun, although i did not have my compass on me, and therefore could not procure the good luck that was promised me. I could have guessed which direction to devour my sushi roll, but i thought better of it considering that a different direction might contain bad luck, or even DEATH.
posted by mdove at 10:17 PM
3 Comments:
You mean all these years I've been putting on masks and asking people to throw beans at me, I've actually been celebrating Setsubun? And to think my analyst told me I'm crazy! --Interrupting Cow
No sir, you are most certainly mad. For the oni does not ask people to throw beans at him, he merely is the target. He does not want evil to be purged from the hearts of the Japanese. Unlike you, my sick friend.
Finally you have pierced through the mask of Japanese society. We now know that they are truly insane, though there was never any doubt. These are the kind of wacky adventures I want to hear. Keep it up, don't ruin our fantasies of Japan being the land of ninjas and giant transforming robots.
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