Wednesday, August 31, 2005

fini

i came home, a summer passed, i traveled south.

i suppose i will compose some more electronic adventures later.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

this morning

This hostel is a hilariously crazy environment right now. It's seven in the morning and the kid i went walking around with yesterday has been up all night drinking. There was also a man who just came in claiming he started some cancer charity organization that's number three in the U.S. Here is a sample conversation:

me: You've been drinking all night, haven't you?
cancer: This dude's been fuckin' with all the wires in this room all night.
drunk: Does anyone know the password to this computer. I turned it off and back on and now it asks for a password.
me: Don't ask me for the password.
drunk: It says the clue is "Jasmine".
me: Try "tea". Jasmine's made from tea.
cancer: Dude, the fuckin' big guy is gonna come back and be like, "who fucked with the wires", and I'm gonna tell him it was you.
drunk: I didn't... I didn't fuck with anything. I... was simply rearranging.
me: Well, he's an electrician. He knows what he's doing.
drunk: I am not.. an electrician. I.. I need a cigarette. (searches under the table)
me: Your cigarette pack is sitting on the table.
drunk: You.. don't know... I put some under the table.
me: You are full of shit.
cancer: This kid, man, he was fuckin' with all the wires. He was takin' shit out, putting shit back in, pluggin' shit everywhere.
drunk: (smoking a cigarette butt)
me: Are you smoking a cigarette butt from the ashtray?
drunk: I am... yes.
some guy sitting with laptop: That smells like shit. Put that out.
drunk: I need cigarettes.
me: But you don't smoke.
drunk: But they're so cheap here! I need to buy them.
guy: I'm about to go buy you some new cigarettes just to get you to stop smoking those butts.
drunk: I just need to play this video game.
me: You know, we shouldn't be so attached to machines. You know, a hundred million years ago, were eating mammoths.
drunk: Elephants.
me: Do you know where the mammoth's heart is located?
drunk: I know! It's on the... the fucking bottom of the...
me: No! You're wrong. The modern elephant's heart is in the normal place, but the ancient elephant's heart is located on the other side. It's all evolution. You see, the cavemen would always stab them in the same place, so the ones with the hearts on the other side would survive.
cancer: You're fuckin' around, man.
me: I am not.
drunk: See, I would just stab them in the anus.
me: That's where the tenderest meat in. The choicest cut. Rump roast.
drunk: Right in the anus. And then the other caveman would stab them in their eyes. Right in the eyes.
me: You threw up all over the stairs, didn't you?
drunk: Listen, once it goes down, it never comes up, you hear me?
cancer: Hey, you gotta see this! (playing with mirror by the window).
me: (walks over). What's that?
cancer: Check it out! (focusing light on bystanders outside with mirror). They don't know a thing!
me: Hey, that's pretty funny.
cancer: Ha! Watch, let's look in this store. Hey, what's in there? Some stuff. Hey, look at this girl. She doesn't even realize!
me: Yeah. I never thought the sun could be so funny.
cancer: You know, if I focus the light long enough on one of those chargers near the power lines, it'll explode! I mean, I won't do it, but it would.
me: You could probably burn a hole through that girl's head.
cancer: Yeah, probably could.
drunk: (staring into space)


and so on....

The rest of my morning was spent in observation of "drunk". He has done the following: spilled coffee all over himself, smoked more cigarette butts, said the word "fish" out of nowhere and could not explain it to me when i inquired about it, told a german girl to "shut up", collapsed on the floor giggling and drooling after playing with a baby toy with a wooden hammer, spilled other drinks that may have been alcoholic.

Monday, April 11, 2005

arrival in Tokyo

I`ve arrived in Tokyo, the largest city in the world and the source of all the bizarreness in the world. Bizarreness is actually produced here in a factory only two subway stops away from the hostel i am staying in, the Guess T House. It is in the shape of a Hello Kitty and it speaks Japanese with an electronic squeaky voice. For now, my plan is to find breakfast. I spent this morning dragging my five bags through the Tokyo subway, asking random people for directions, losing feeling in my fingers and arms, barely awake after my sleep on the bus ride, it being about 6 am when i got off the bus. I have to leave my bags here in the trust of some suspicious gaijin. I met a French surgeon and a middle-aged man from New Hampshire earlier this morning in the hostel lounge; i don`t think they`d steal my dirty clothes and half-package of green tea. A large balding geek just entered the room babbling about Kyoto. He might steal my underwear. More later on future wackiness.

Monday, April 04, 2005

too Japanese and difficult choices

That was Friday night. Saturday morning i cycled to a station four stations away from mine to meet some friends to go on the long-anticipated hiking trip. When i arrived, an older British woman studying organic chemistry, whom i met at an international party late last year, and a British college student who works with her were sitting on the steps. The woman, who is bizarrely frantic and anxious but usually quiet and antisocial, offered me a burnt sausage that she cooked. Naturally, i politely declined, but a crafty orange cat that had been hiding in the bushes nearly swiped one from her plastic container. She shooed it away, but it still lingered in the bushes, and was soon joined by another black cat looking for breakfast. Danni finally arrived and we got on the train. She had organized the whole trip. Emi, Danni's Japanese friend, was already sitting on the train when we climbed on, and Derek, a Republican Christian vegan from Seattle who studies bible, got on at a later stop. All these Republicans, living with what i used to think were liberal lifestyles, have changed my image from a fat sniveling old man to a backwards-thinking youngster. Although i cannot criticize other people's opinions, i think that there are just a few things that these kids choose to ignore, but that's another story. When we arrived at Kamojima, the same place where Canadian Alex lives, we met up with three other Japanese: an English teacher named Keiko and two of her students, one 15-year-old boy named Atsushi and one 14-year-old girl named Chiatsu, brother and sister, both with an extremely minimal comprehension level of English. This was our team.
The hiking trail we took was the same one that Alex and i took with some others late last year. It was interesting to see it in a different season. There were cherry blossoms in bloom and beautiful birds songs, one of which reminded me of a Costa Rican bird. When we climbed to the mid-point of the first mountain i tried to find the bird that was singing that song, and i happened upon a traveling older man who asked me a two word question: "Baado Wachingu?" I said yes and then asked him if he knew the name of the bird, and after he told me he remarked that it was impossible to see because it is extremely sensitive to human noise, but that it had a beautiful green plumage. Throughout the hike i could not manage to see this bird, but its song accompanied us throughout our journey. The trail was a bit less strenuous this time, perhaps because i had done it before and knew what i was in for. During the hike, i talked to everyone a bit, alternating between people and having nice little chats, sometimes half in Japanese, sometimes only in Japanese, usually only in English. After all, everyone could speak English besides the two kids, and they were very quiet and obedient. Derek speaks very natural and nearly fluent Japanese, and he would converse with all the Japanese often in their native tongue, which must have been comforting amidst all the English. Danni speaks just about as well as i can, but she speaks very slowly and stubbornly refuses to use English while she is trying to think of the right words, and all her listeners must always be very patient. In this respect, i usually speak much faster than her but in shorter sentences. It is just humourous to watch the agonizing looks on her listener's faces sometimes, looking like they want to scream out the correct word or conjugation.
We stayed in the temple complex of the temple that sits atop the third mountain of the hike. By this point were were all sweaty and tired, though not soaked thanks to the cool breezes of the early evening. I took a Japanese-style bath, which consists of soaping up on a small seat and rinsing off the soap, then emerging oneself in a deep hot bath and steeping one's body for however long one can stand. When i emerged, i felt like a new person, and shortly afterwards we were served a delicious vegetarian dinner. We slept on futons upon tatami floors, and lights were out at around 9:30. We were all amazed to find ourselves so sleepy at such an early hour. Up on the mountain, my conception of time that is usually correlated to the frequency of car noises and city sounds was useless; the only sounds were the creaking of the wooden floors and the soft night sounds of the forest. The view outside our window looked out upon a breathtaking expanse of misty mountains and forest.
In the morning, after our Japanese breakfast of rice and miso soup and pickles, i joked with the British student, Will, about how this trip was so Japanese. Essentially, everything we did was entirely parallel with our conceptions of what was Japanese:
1. Eating rice with every meal of the day.
2. Hiking up mountains to a temple.
3. Admiring cherry blossoms.
4. Sleeping in a temple on futons upon tatami mats.
5. Greeting numerous white-cloaked Buddhist pilgrims.
6. Taking a real ofuro (Japanese bath) at night.
7. Ending the second day with a trip to an onsen (bathhouse).
The only thing missing were the ninjas, but we assumed we would encounter them soon enough. Before we left the temple we were given little crackers with delicate etchings of a religious figure and the kanji that stated the number of this temple in the 88 temple pilgrimage of Shikoku: twelve. I ate them.
The second day we hiked down and then up again to a tall waterfall. Will decided to scale the rock wall beside it using a chain fastened there for that purpose, and i decided to follow, along with Danni and Emi. It was frightening to climb such a slippery wall with my only support as my own two hands, but i got to the top, sat around and marveled at the waterfall from a closer vantage point, then slowly and carefully made my way back down. I had taken off my shoes as a suggestion from Will and paid the painful price of sore feet. After this, we went hiking up a nearly 45 degree slope to an isolated small temple on the top of this mountain. No one lives there, nor does anyone work there often, as it is so difficult to get to because no paved roads lead to it. On our way back down, it started to rain, but the tree cover protected us for a while. Eventually though, i was soaked from head to toe but still persevering, trying not to slip off the trail on the slippery stones and plunge into the pit of brown pine nettles and rocks. We managed to leave the mountain without injury, and proceeded back into the rural town of Kamojima, having made some kind of oblong circle. We entered the onsen filthy and tired, and happily stripped off our clothes, separated by sexes of course, and did the wash and rinse routine before entering the hot baths. By this point Derek had left already, and it was just Will, Atsushi and i. It was Will's first visit to an onsen, so i went around with him and showed him the ropes. Towards the end, Atsushi reccomended we join him in a special bath that was steeped in an herb mixture. What looked like an enormous tea bag floated in the water. I told Will that things were getting a little too Japanese for my comfort, because we were basically sitting in a huge bath of tea. The ninjas could have burst through the walls at any moment, sensing the Japan-o-meter reaching its peak, but we left the bath too soon for any hazard to strike.
After the onsen, we hopped on a bus headed home. On the bus, i had Keiko write me the kanji for good and evil, and i wrote upon it, "Good and Evil. Choose!" I gave it to the two kids, who both chose good. I then remarked how the kanji for good looked like the one for sheep, and Keiko wrote the sheep kanji just above it to show me the difference. I then asked Chiatsu to choose between a sheep and evil, and amidst confusion and indecision, finally chose a sheep. I then asked her to choose between a good sheep and a bad sheep, and when she finally chose a good one, i told her that the good sheep was unclean and the bad sheep was beautiful, and this just threw her into a state of deeper confusion. She could not answer.
This marks the end of the trip and all the important episodes contained within it.

more old man hijinks and WW2

Time is ticking away.
Friday night i went to a little place i found when i first arrived for dinner. It is in the bar district near my house and owned by an older husband and wife, and they serve pretty traditional Japanese food. I was only there about 3 other times, and i got vegetable tempura all those times--they already knew about my diet and the fact that i could speak some Japanese, and therefore were not afraid of me. When i walked in, i sat next to a skinny middle-aged man finishing his dinner at the bar. Behind us were a Western-style table with chairs and next to it, tatami-matting and several cushions beneath a Japanese-style low table. The man was obviously nervous, and the owner said something about Italy so the man asked if i was Italian, and i answered no, that i am American, and he apologized profusely. I then began to try to converse with him, though he spoke very fast and nervously and was apparently quite drunk, as he nearly tipped over my miso soup bowl while performing an expressive action with his arms. Shortly after i arrived, an old man came in with a friend and sat down next to me. He said to me in English, "Your name is Jamie, right?" I said yes, and he said, "I know you, yes, I know you very well." I was puzzled but i remained unsurprised. I finally asked him how he knew me, and he told me not to worry about that. Then he said something about Germany, and began to ask me questions about it, and it finally clicked. He was the man who gave Yuuki and i directions when we were trying to find the artsy cafe a couple of weeks ago. He remarked then how i looked German, as he was trying to guess my nationality (which is a celebrated past-time here), and i simply affirmed that i was, to avoid any complication and to ensure that no more English would be thrown my way. But by this point he knew i could speak English, though he was still convinced i was German. I was busy entertaining him by pronouncing several German words, whereupon he would laugh deeply and try to repeat them, then insist that i clink beer glasses with him (at this point i had felt compelled to order one too). We must've clinked glasses at least thirty times, because every time he looked at me he raised his glass with a threatening look on his face, as if to say, 'If you know what's good for you, clink the glass.' As he spoke English, he would force an unnatural grin upon his face and look either straight through me or at a point in space just beyond my face. He needed time to think of words every so often, and would sit there grinning deeply and staring until he found the word, and when he spoke he would enunciate in all the wrong places. The other man, who could not speak much English aside from simple sentences, was complaining to me about English study, and then began to talk to me about world war 2 after he learned i went to Hiroshima and visited the museum. I smiled and nodded as this man spoke, but i only understood the simplest points he was trying to make. Eventually, after the woman cook was confused about my ambiguous nationality, i had to invent a story in which i was German but studied in the U.S., and somehow everyone believed me. The old man ended up paying for my dinner.

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Hello Kitty toilet paper

As i was sitting upon my toilet, wiping myself with pink Hello Kitty toilet paper, i began to ponder. I only have two weeks left in Japan, this country of the rising sun that has caused me so much joy and anguish, and has left the taste of vinegared rice in my mouth and the smell of shiso in my nostrils. Would i miss this place? Only time will tell, but i can safely say that there are a few people i may miss, as well as a few special places that have secured a place in my heart of hearts. I may also miss the broad and straightly pointed wings of the white heron as it sails over the treetops of Tokushima park in the early evening. And the delicately meticulous planning of Japanese strolling parks: the small stone walking bridge over the thinly cut stream, the carefully arranged piles of stones beneath the softly spilling waterfall, the revered and admired ancient twisted tree.
Today i will be cycling around the mountain i see from my window, Bizan. Friday i may visit a temple in the countryside with Ash. Saturday i will go hiking in the mountains with some friends and then spend the night in a temple, being served both dinner that night and breakfast the following morning, then go hiking some more the next day and finally return to the city by bus. I am very excited to wear a yukata, which is a thin kimono worn in nice weather and bathhouses, and i am led to believe i will be given one at the temple, perhaps for bathing purposes. For some reason, it's still fun to do Japanese things; they have not, in the seven or so months i've been here, fallen into the dark depths of mundanity.
Nothing seems like it will be mundane for quite some time now. I plan on enjoying this vibrant and new world as long as i can, and its pull will continue until well after i return home to New York.

Friday, March 25, 2005

hiroshima

The city of peace, as it is known throughout Japan and the world. Its name literally means "broad island". And it is well known for its "Heiwa Kouen" (Peace Park). I am in a library typing this just outside of the "Gembaku Shiryoukan" (Atom Bomb Museum), which houses tattered clothing, damaged belongings, heat-scorched ceramic roof tiles, and iron doors with shards of glass lodged deep within them, as well as numerous photographs of presidents and world leaders, including the supposedly apolitical Einstein, who I just learned pressed Roosevelt to research atomic weaponry, legal documents concerning choices for Japanese cities to bomb, and aminiature replica of the city of Hiroshima in its grand splendor just before the bomb exploded, and another of a desolate field of ruins and rubble seconds after. I rented an audio guide in English to follow along with the exhibits, and the saddest were the accounts of the families of victims: you can listen to them describe their frantic attempts to find their loved ones amidst the fiery and bloody chaos, rummaging through piles of bodies and lifting slabs of fallen stone, finding their sons or daughters with the skin peeling off of their arms and faces, carrying them home on their backs, and nursing them until they died while only being able to recognize them by their voices and clothes because of the unidentifiable state their melted faces were in. There were many disturbing things in the museum and it felt a bit awkward to be an American in there, though there was no anger or hostility in any of the exhibits towards the U.S., and no one inside displayed anything resembling animosity.
I visited Hiroshima castle today and walked around the Peace Park a bit more. Yesterday I traveled to Miyajima, which is an island off of Hiroshima that is well-known for its torii (shinto-style spirit gate) that emerges from the water. During the afternoon, the tide recedes and people can walk straight up to the torii upon a carpet of bright green seaweed and multitudes of small mollusks. Many old women gather for the low tide to dig up clams to sell. The island itself is gorgeous, with mountains shouldering the back coast and temples and shrines dotting the interior. There are many shops on the island selling the famous food of Miyajima - "Momiji Manjuu", which are little maple leaf-shaped cakes with filling inside. The island also is home to a good number of deer, many of them so tame i could pet their heads. It reminded me of Nara, except this time i was smart enough to avoid buying deer crackers and subjecting myself to a regular mauling by ravenous deer.
I will be returning today to Tokushima.

Sunday, March 20, 2005

the ultimate conservationist: a murderer!

Newsflash:
In Japan, an eighty year-old man strangled his similarly-aged wife to death last week because she made too many side dishes. She told him, reportedly, "You don't have to eat them all," but this probably just infuriated him all the more. I assume the concept of the "horn of plenty" puts him into an uncontrollable rage. Now this is a man that needs to be recruited by environmental groups who are fighting the losing battle against overconsumption! Forget recruiting, put him in charge!
After work today, i went with Yuuki to a cafe owned by a woman we sang karaoke with last night. Her friend, who i also met yesterday night, has an art exhibition in the cafe, and they drew me a napkin map that i forgot on the table of our karaoke box. When we finally arrived after much confusion with directions, the artist was overjoyed at the sight of me, since she asked me so eagerly to see her exhibition the night before. The cafe owner was also happy to see us arrive, and they all crowded around Yuuki and I, along with another artist displaying her wooden carvings of toys in the shape of a dog with wheels with a bone-shaped leash. This artist was almost on the verge of tears when i examined and complimented her work, thanking me formally and graciously as she bowed many times. The paintings of Rie, the woman from last night, are vibrant renderings of women in motion or in relaxed positions surrounded by colorful plants and either birds or fish with human eyes. I bought a postcard from her and then we sat down in the cafe and i got a egg and mushroom sandwich and some coffee. We sat and chatted, the artist and I, and Yuuki mostly listened because the conversation was probably unbearably mundane. But i managed another night speaking 98 percent Japanese, and i was told many times how good i was at speaking, though i still cannot believe it, mainly because i rely on a number of phrases that i shift around as i see fit.
Tomorrow i travel to an island that sports some kind of zoo and a miniature theme park, along with some traditional things i hope, with Yamamoto-san, Mika, and Danni. I know them all from badminton, which turned out to be a real social hotspot. Yamamoto-san, the rude and foul-mouthed construction worker in his early 30's, planned this all as my going-away trip, and i am very thankful to make such friends, even though their language may not be prime for imitating. Mika is his secret girlfriend; secret because he always avoids the question of whether or not they are dating. She is very soft-spoken and delicate, so perhaps their differences make for a connection.
Over and out once more, chums, and wish me luck on my journeys!

you dare refuse my strawberries?

The world according to Jamie Kass.

The days are numbered and counting. I have been counting them ever since i realized there were only eleven left. Now there are but eight. What days, you may ask. Working days, my friends, days of toil in the cramped classrooms of NOVA corporation. After these eight days, no more shall i slave away in the coal mine that is the 3rd floor office of the SOGO corporation department store. My lungs are full of soot and my breathing has been heavy lately. Must be too much spoken English... it wears a man down. He must guzzle bottled green tea to keep his throat moist or else the cracked flesh inside will ruin his voice, his most important tool and the only thing that earns him his living wage. The mind helps too, but most of his day is spent reading from a text and speaking as if to a child.
Most days i go to the local grocery store and buy a green apple for 88 yen or a red one for 128. Usually i go for green. There is a man who works in the store cutting and folding boxes and arranging fruits and vegetables: he often sees me and sets aside his work to come over to me and act as awkwardly as he can manage. He always stretches out his hand first, prompting me to shake it, but grips me and holds on as if he thinks this is the proper way gaijin greet each other. He doesn't let go until we are done speaking. He rarely looks me in the eyes, but often swings his head up close to me as he speaks so i can smell his breath, stinking of unbrushed teeth. He will talk about the weather, or my commute to work, or various other mundanities in broken and confusing English, with entirely bizarre intonation, so that i often have no idea what he is trying to say. But the past two days he has given me gifts of fruit, which is quite nice, and i suppose all my patience and friendliness has paid off, for i have received a bag of mikan (small clementine-looking fruits) and a package of strawberries. I don't like getting gifts simply for speaking a few English words to someone, but it was nice of him. People are literally desparate for English here; it is no lie.
When i go to work, i found Jeff, the 40-something Arizona-born man who has a Japanese wife 10 years younger than him, Alex, the 40-something Toronto-born man who has a Japanese boyfriend his age, and Denise, the 20-something Canadian who just began work here and already has begun to get on my nerves. The reason is this: when she arrived, she replied to almost everything i said to her in a brisk and uninterested tone. I kept trying to joke with her or say something meaningful, but i never could crack open her shell. This bugged me, and so today when i offered these three people strawberries and she refused, it set me off. I then said the remark that i was afterwards scolded for by Alex as "not called for". I asked her the following rhetorical question: "Denise, don't you ever take any chances?" Personally, i don't think this comment is so offensive, but Alex did, and he toldme outright. Afterwards, while we were having lunch together in the Indian restaurant, we discussed this comment and the repurcutions of my attitude towards people that i meet, and what kinds of impressions i may give them. Overall, we decided that i come off too strong and passionate with new people, and that i overwhelm them from the start. I also consciously test them to see if i can get them to be open with me, and if they don't open up, i will viciously torment them, as a crow does with a clam that just refuses to break upon the sharp rocks that shoulder the waves. But this very day, i found myself being quite warm with Denise after this lunchtime conversation, and we communicated quite smoothly. Perhaps i learned a lesson!
I plan to go to Hiroshima in a couple of days. Tomorrow is my last working day in March. I am ecstatic.