my new friend
Tonight i ate dinner at a small food establishment that can fit about 20 people. I was in there before, so they knew my peculiar eating habits. I sat next to the only patron, an old man drinking a beer and fondling the bones of some fish on his plate with his chopsticks. He was to become my new friend.
He spoke English decently and said he wanted to go around the world 7 times. He had been to America (America means US to Japanese) 10 times, and wanted to return. I ordered my food and we chatted some more, and he taught me some filthy words in Japanese. He then told me that he would bring me to meet beautiful women, and it was then that i called him "warui otoko", or childishly put, "bad man". He staggered backward and laughed heartily, and he apparently loved me all the more for slandering him. He demanded that we drink beer together at a later date, and it was evident that i could not refuse, as it is a cultural commandment to accept all invitations to get drunk, even if you don't plan on ever doing it. The last thing i want to do while here is break an ancient law of immense cultural and historical significance. I was told that if i refused to bow when someone bowed to me, or if i failed to properly acknowledge the storekeepers' greetings of "irasshaimase!", i would be promptly thrown outside of the country, probably into the ocean part of the outside. Where the sharks are. They survive solely off of haughty Americans.
He spoke English decently and said he wanted to go around the world 7 times. He had been to America (America means US to Japanese) 10 times, and wanted to return. I ordered my food and we chatted some more, and he taught me some filthy words in Japanese. He then told me that he would bring me to meet beautiful women, and it was then that i called him "warui otoko", or childishly put, "bad man". He staggered backward and laughed heartily, and he apparently loved me all the more for slandering him. He demanded that we drink beer together at a later date, and it was evident that i could not refuse, as it is a cultural commandment to accept all invitations to get drunk, even if you don't plan on ever doing it. The last thing i want to do while here is break an ancient law of immense cultural and historical significance. I was told that if i refused to bow when someone bowed to me, or if i failed to properly acknowledge the storekeepers' greetings of "irasshaimase!", i would be promptly thrown outside of the country, probably into the ocean part of the outside. Where the sharks are. They survive solely off of haughty Americans.
posted by mdove at 12:56 AM
2 Comments:
I hear those sharks are fat and lazy, just like Americans. Because everyone knows that you are what you eat. And all Japanese know that Americans are fat and lazy. And I know that the Japanese know that because America tells us that all Japanese think that.
so, that would make you a swedish fish. and all the japanese know that swedish fish are red and tasty, because america tells us that the japanese like to think that, in their spare time.
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